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1. September 2011 von quew

love is different

“What you always wanted to ask about love and sex, but never really wanted to hear.”

What we think about sex or what we think we know, is only a small fragment of reality. How we live our sexuality and what we consider to be “normal” is the result of our conditioning, it is what we have learned and received from other people. We rarely question the way our society views sexuality.

Sure, as teenagers we are interested in everything to do with sex. What the media – especially the Internet – show is usually a very one-sided picture. We see how hot sex works and how we should act in order to get it. Maybe we think everything we see it is real, but actually the picture is of fantasies that will stimulate and excite us. But we believe we, too, have to experience such things the same way.

And so we are constantly looking for new experiences, more excitement and the next even wilder orgasm, in the belief that they will bring us fulfillment.

These webpages are for adolescent and adult men who want to know how to look at sexuality and love differently from the mainstream perspective, how to meet deeper sexually and more lovingly. We write from our perspective about topics such as ´the first time´, peer pressure, jealousy, arousal, erection, masturbation, porn addiction and much more.

Have you, for example, ever wondered what masturbation´s effects might be over the long term? Or what it means when one gets with a partner who has a severe pornography dependence? And what all this has to do on our ´sexual ego´ or how it can affect our sexuality in a relationship?

This is not about narrow moral or prudish conventions, but rather a clear view of the strongest and most vital life energy available to us. It’s about the ability to decide how we direct our energies and our attention. And it’s about how to distinguish our own pleasure or selfish satisfaction from what leads to deep, loving encounters

There is something that brings us closer together than “regular sex,” and still feels ecstatic and exciting. Probably because of its potential for fulfilling our longing for closeness and fusion.

It starts with a decision.

die erste entscheidung

.decision

In the life of every boy or man there comes a point where he must choose. Not everyone sees this need and makes this decision consciously. You probably know the story about the red and blue pill. You choose the blue pill, you choose a path that challenges you, … read more

.the labyrinth

What is the normal way from a boy to sexuality? As a child, we hear all the possible things from adults or older siblings, in which we orient ourselves. And usually we are with our first experience quite alone and disoriented. As boys no later than 12 or 13 years we start to … read more

.the first encounter

If we as a boy come really closer to a girl for the first time, it is very different than we imagined. In our imagination we are the heroes who know exactly what is going on and we would be much more experienced and mature as we are. In reality, it may unsettle us very much and we … read more

.the fraud

Perhaps you have a girlfriend and you stay together, but something is wrong. But unfortunately we do rarely bother to find out what this “something” is, but run apart when the first love is gone and hope for happiness with another one. … read more

.sex or love

Though we’ve all seen a lot of romantic movies or have read books, heard so much and have made our experiences, we do not really know what love is. We learn from role models and see how our parents behave, or we don´t want to be like them at all. …read more

.the other way

These days there are endless opportunities to learn and yet we are often disoriented. Because not everything is possible is also good for us. So what options we have to live a fulfilling, loving sexuality and what should a man do, if he has decided to go in another direction? … read more

.honesty

It all starts with honesty. Honesty with yourself and with the person you love. We will never be able to live a good relationship, if we are not honest to ourselves. It is indeed the case that we lie to ourselves the most, or delude ourselves. … read more

.the perfect lover

Most men have in some way the ambition to be a perfect or at least good lover. But what are we imagine as a good lover? We learn all erogenous zones of women, try to know more new positions and improve our technology. … read more

.myth of erection

Even if we admit as men only reluctantly, a major part of our self-consciousness is defined by the erection. When we talk about it then only in the form of jokes about the size, severity and duration of our erection. But since we tend to make jokes on issues where uncertainty prevails, this only shows us more how big the ignorance and the fear of failure is in topic. … read more

.masturbation

Masturbation for most men is a touchy subject. For although we are all aware (almost) everyone does it, we talk very reluctant about it. And if we do, often snide, rude and derogatory. Just as only the others do. But even if we “at peace” with us, masturbation can be a real problem. … read more

.orgasm separates

This is the simple, but very unpopular truth, we really don´t like to hear (and some would argue to the death, that it is different), but the orgasm separates us from the love and a deep connection to our dear partner. The focus on hot, excitation-oriented sex is a deeply self-centered act, … read more

.the sexual ego

Most women feel in a strong yearning for deeper love. They have the feeling of a greater capacity for love and devotion in themselfes. But they also experience time and again they can´t really live this capability of love because of the “normal” male-dominated sex. … read more

.betrayal of love

Most women feel in a strong yearning for deeper love. They have the feeling of a greater capacity for love and devotion in themselfes. But they also experience time and again they can´t really live this capability of love because of the “normal” male-dominated sex. … read more

.the art of slowness

If we have a goal, we wish to get there quickly. If our often unconscious goal is in the love relationship to find much excitement and orgasm for us and our partner as possibble, we also want to get there as quickly as possible. … read more

.sexual love

If we have a goal, we wish to get there quickly. If our often unconscious goal is in the love relationship to find much excitement and orgasm for us and our partner as possibble, we also want to get there as quickly as possible. … read more

(soon to continue)
release February 21. 2012